i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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