I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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