I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize