It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
