Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
