Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
