What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm sobbing to NWA
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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