New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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