You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
