im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
