I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
