He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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