hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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