I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
