didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
