I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
