I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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