If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
