i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
