Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
