She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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