Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
3pm strippers are depressing
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
