TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
did i just pee glitter
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
