she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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