god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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