gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
That's when you crack a 10am beer
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
