Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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