well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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