Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
