Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
