I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.