You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
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We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk