So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
