I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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