if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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