he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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