Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
A+ Viking dick
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
