Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
