i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm going to jail i love you
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
