So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
COCAINE IS GR8
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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