i need an iv and a liver transplant
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
