Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Everyone says I win the strip club
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
