cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
