i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize