My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
