ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
two words...techno handjob
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Randomize
