the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
