I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.