your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
