I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
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I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
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Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process