This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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