friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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