fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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