Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
