i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
