Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
