I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
