I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
