He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
50% drunk capacity currently
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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