So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
