Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
