Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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