This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
